Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

What exactly is the difference between a surge protector and a fuse? Can a fuse protect the electronic devices from lightning instead of surge protector?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

You are like me, then.

Why is America so fucked up?

I had run out of hope.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What celebrity do you admire the most?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

And the sadness?

It’s still here.

What's wrong with white women?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

I was tired of fighting.

Why are US customs agents so talkative? I cringed hard when a US customs agent asked me if I was on vacation. He doesn’t need to know why I went to another country as long as I am a U.S. citizen.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

I was tired of trying and failing.

NASA and India to Launch a $1.5 Billion Revolutionary Satellite That Will Change Earth Observation Forever! - The Daily Galaxy

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Why do gun owners feel the need to defend themselves with deadly weapons? Can they not just talk things out like civilized people do?

Be who you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I saw a post on X which says "control your lust & you'll understand how boring 90% of women are." What do you think about it? Do you agree or disagree? Why?

The sadness was still there.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It’s here now, writing to you.

Why can't NASA just bite the bullet and launch a plainly simple mission, audited by flat earther peers start to finish that definitively proves to even the smallest minds that the earth is an oblong spheroid, and not flat?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.